Ladies
and Gentlemen, class is now in session, welcome to Knight Rider 2000 101, where
we shall go over the finer points of the forever memorable movie Knight Rider
2000.
This is a slacker course, so sit back,
relax, and enjoy!
Important Life Lessons
Knight Rider
2000 is a very educational movie, in the tradition of the much beloved series
before it. The following are some important life lessons that may be very handy
to you in the future:
1. Old series never die; they just come back as TV
Sweeps movies.
2. When life gets too tough, go fishing.
3. Making
convicts into Popsicles does not reform them.
4. Never let a lawyer near
older electronic equipment, if you do not want him to take it apart, sell off
parts, and box the rest of it up.
5. When you put car parts together in a
crate, and leave them alone for a while, they spawn new parts!
6. If you are
going to ban handguns, make sure that you melt them ALL down, and make sure that
everybody gets the memo.
7. Never entrust your life to a city bureaucrat;
they will order your death over sacrificing their budget every time.
8. You
can lose your memory, but never really lose your memory at all.
9. You are
never too old to learn how to rebuild complex computer systems.
10. An
Artificial Intelligence (AI) should never be removed from its body, or it will
get very, VERY cranky.
11. Any car can be turned into a super car with the
right parts.
12. Positive identification of suspects is very important,
before they are knocked out.
12a. You can meet very interesting people at
ATM’s.
13. Implanting the memory chip of a sarcastic AI into a person’s
brain is a good way to get a whole new personality.
14. Never insult a
cranky elder AI.
15. Somebody’s memory can be read if you send enough
electricity through his or her body, and hook them up to a monitor.
16. You
can sink a Chevy, live to tell about it and be able to pull out the Chevy for
later use.
17. Red can be as covert a color as black.
18. Cars really
can travel on water!
19. Good guys really do finish first, it just takes a
lot of effort to get there.
20. Life does go
on, even if it is with a new body, a new partner, and a new chief operating
officer.